Do you ever hear yourself saying that and in the same breath telling yourself “well that won’t last long”? It happens to me a lot! But this time is different because I am scared. Really scared. COVID is around and transmission rates are skyrocketing. My health profile unfortunately shares many common elements with comorbidities that result in many people either getting seriously ill when they get COVID or dying. That is the reality. Yes, of course, let’s live life as full as we can, eat what we want, drink what we want but you know what? Nup. That is starting to feel, for me, like I am giving myself permission to get sick….or worse. Like I want to hurt my body, not nurture it. Nope. Nup. No thank you. Enough.

Six months ago I quit a senior role as a Chief of Staff after years of working myself sick. It took me from then until July just to get to a point where I was ready to just look at another job. I am now working 3 days a week as a lawyer and have reignited my love for this profession that I wanted to be a part of since I was 15 years old. Yes! Crazy right?! So I have achieved a transformation on the job front in 6 months! I gave myself permission to go back to the drawing board, try something new and just see what happens and…I love it. Awesome!

Now for the other components of Fanoula. I am 48 years old, tired, overweight, potentially pre-diabetic, burnt out, highly suspicious that I am suffering from PTSD from both my previous jobs and COVID. I am also a wife, a mother, a daughter and a friend to people who I love dearly and want to share so much with.

So, after that brutal assault of my reality, what am I doing here? I want things to change for me. And I want to get things out of my head and write about them. I want to document my journey that I have promised myself today that I will embark on and I want to hold myself accountable for that. This is my chance to set the tone for the rest of my life. Doing it during a COVID lockdown is even more incentive…I want to be strong physically and mentally to ensure that my family and I have the best chance of living well and being healthy, no matter what life throws at us.

I want to do it for them. I want to do it for me.

Here we go!

Fx