You may be wondering “what is she doing as part of this big change?” and I am happy to share that with you! Isn’t this what starting a blog is all about?

_{Me after O was born in 2014}

The truth can hurt

The first step is being honest with where I am at today. Some hard facts about me. Within 3 months of O being born 7 years ago, I have gradually been gaining weight. From a post pregnancy weight of 78kgs to….drumroll….a current weight of 108kg. Yes. I know you know this because you have seen it. You have seen me. Did I know it was this bad? No. I don’t weigh myself. I was just buying bigger clothes every now and again and basically getting on with things.

However, I could feel things changing. First of all, I get puffed out really quickly doing the most rudimentary things. I rarely allow myself to be photographed but I have seen some recent photos and I was shocked. Going up stairs, any stairs, would really make my knees hurt. When I bend over to tie my shoelaces, I feel like somebody is squeezing my throat and I can’t breathe! I am an early bird, but recently I have been finding it hard to get out of bed. I have been feeling like a 48 year old woman in an 80 year old body. What happened to me? I don’t feel overweight – I just feel like me. A me who is not healthy.

I don’t know what I don’t know

So, I bit the bullet and decided the ostrich way doesn’t work for me. I went to the doctors to check two main things – my general physical status (everything!) and potential allergies. My results came back for both and it was a rude awakening and a timely warning. A blessing I would say. I have the higher end of the healthy range of the bad cholesterol and my good cholesterol is not high enough, I am potentially pre-diabetic (showing the signs) and my liver is showing some strain. Most likely because of my gallbladder being removed within 3 months of O being born and my liver struggling to keep up with the fat intake. I am technically and obviously obese and I am also premenopausal. Da daaaaa!!! Also, as I was showing symptoms of either gluten or dairy allergy or intolerance, I got the key allergies tested and it all came back clear (which means that I don’t have allergies to these things but could still have intolerances as they cannot be tested). Ok. Deep breath. Ok.

I have a choice at this point in my life. I either pretend it is all good, my body is my body, I should not be ashamed of being overweight etc or I take steps to change my lifestyle for the better so that I can do all I can to be as healthy as possible. What do I want to choose?

I feel that it is really important to say that I don’t believe any person should be judged by how big they are. Your weight does not define who you are. The body shaming and biases that are inherent in our society around the weight of an individual need to be addressed. In every single woman and man within whatever body shape they have is a unique spirit, God’s creation and deserving of living a fulfilled and genuine life. We have to stop judging people by their appearance – we are missing out on allowing ourselves to see the wonderful true spirit within. How can this start? By us stopping to judge ourselves first. It all starts from within.

I am not shy. In many ways, this has helped me to in essence ignore what was happening with my body and just keep on being me. To be honest with myself though, I was hiding even if I thought I wasn’t. Does this weight gain affect my confidence? Yes. Yes it does. I didn’t think it did. I always would just think that nothing can hold me back and I would just shine over my weight and basically blot that reality out. It wasn’t really like that. I really regret that I keep avoiding being in photos with my beautiful family. I struggle to find photos with my husband and kids from the earlier years of their growth. I feel really sad about this.

I do not hate who I am. I do not want to punish myself for where I am at today. I am not a victim here. Life happened. Wonderful life happened. So now to change.

The way forward

I have committed with my doctor to go on a three month intermittant fast, low carb way of eating so that I can live healthier and lose the excess weight sustainably.

For the past two weeks, I have started step 1 which is to remove all simple carbohydrates (white flour goods – bread, pasta, rice) from my diet and add more vegetables of every colour and variety. To get into the rhythym of eating food I really want to eat and enjoy without the carb loading. I have really loved this. I am eating wonderfully delicious food that I enjoy and I also think my family is benefitting from this approach for their own health. Great! It hasn’t been all roses. I have had a day now and again where I will have a croissant for breakfast or where I tried a piece of the boys’ pizza. However, I can fairly say that 99% of the time, I am eating as I need to and enjoying it.

I have also been moving more. I am either doing a half hour walk or bike riding every day (unless it rains) and I am loving that! I bought a basket for the bike so that I can feel like I am in Provence every time I go riding! It works – I love it! I rode to our local shops to buy flowers the other day and I was daydreaming about riding through the cobbled streets of a little French village to arrive at our little villa! We are also riding together as a family which we all love – why should they have all of the fun!

So far so good! Step 2 will be to start intermittent fasting. So, this involves using what is known as the 16:8 fasting method. You fast for 16 hours and eat nutrient-dense food in the eight-hour window. So, you don’t go crazy eating whatever – this is a lifestyle change! You eat lots of vegetables, protein and fruit. I am starting this from Monday. I will eat my first meal at 10am (I really hate breakfast – I never feel hungry in the morning!) and will have my last meal at 6pm. There is so much literature out there on fasting, the options and ways to include it in your daily life and I won’t try to summarise it all here. Just ensure you go to the source of this – Dr Michael Mosley – and consult your doctor before doing anything at all like this. I am also going to start some weight training – building muscle in my body. I will share this with you separately. I will be doing this from home.

From Monday, I will share with you what I am eating, when and how I am tracking. I will also share my thoughts along the way – what I am feeling and thinking as I am going. And I will also share with you what is happening with me health wise. In 3 months – I will share with you the outcomes! Recipes will be including in the mix as I do hope I can inspire you to eat really yummy food that is coincidently really good for you! If you have any tips or great recipes you want to share with me, please do so.

That’s it! You are now all up to date! Monday is the first day of the full new way to be! Wish me luck!

xF

PS. It is a really big deal for me that the only photos in this blog post are of me. I would normally never do that as I really don’t like photos of me!!